Given that many of us want more nice guys at work, we might assume that men would be celebrated for being calm and unassuming. This is problematic, as not seeking help when you need it or admitting areas for improvement inevitably leads to mistakes and less development.īeing nicer. And when men make themselves vulnerable by disclosing a weakness at work, they are perceived to have lower status. An informative set of studies from 2015 finds that when male (but not female) leaders ask for help, they are viewed as less competent, capable, and confident. Men are socialized to not ask for help or be vulnerable - and they can be penalized when they challenge this notion.
This is troubling not least because it discourages men from behaving in ways known to benefit their teams and their own careers. Research demonstrates that men too face backlash when they don’t adhere to masculine gender stereotypes - when they show vulnerability, act nicer, display empathy, express sadness, exhibit modesty, and proclaim to be feminists. Does that same hold true for men? Are they similarly penalized for straying from the strong masculine stereotype? When women behave in ways that don’t fit their gender stereotype - for example, by being assertive - they are viewed as less likable and ultimately less hirable. This backlash is likely one (but of course not the only) reason that men engage in behaviors that harm women and are detrimental to their own careers. Why? Research demonstrates that much the same way women face unfair backlash effects for being more masculine or not feminine enough, men similarly face backlash for not adhering to masculine gender stereotypes.
Instead many men focus on leading and influencing through fear and dominance rather than building consensus and creating safe environments for employees to share ideas. Even though business increasingly relies on relationships, trust, and reputation, men are not becoming more compassionate, warm, and understanding. A review of 94 psychological studies, including more 24,000 people and spanning the past 40 years, found that while women have adapted to workplace norms, by engaging in more stereotypically male behavior (becoming more assertive, actively displaying ambition, and showing strength and confidence), men have not adapted alongside them. But while survey results suggest that attitudes have changed, the same can’t be said for men’s behavior. Fortunately, the data suggests most men do not conform to this troubling brand of masculinity. Toxic masculinity has been the backdrop of several recent stories about workplace sexual harassment and assault, discrimination against women, and sexist work cultures.
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